u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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