Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
