Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
