I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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