Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
