check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I have demons in me.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize