morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
