Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
