you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
