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I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
