is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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