Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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