Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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