She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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