Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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