I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
