every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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