I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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