Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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