my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I want a musical about memes.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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