I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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