it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize