In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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