You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
