That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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