So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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