3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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