ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
