she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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