Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Less talking, more tequila
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
