I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I know her cup size but not her name....
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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