I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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