Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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