No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
