Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
