May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I party with great urgency now.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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