her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
