Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
