I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
