I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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