I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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