somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
