haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
