We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
