My friends, they love my intelligence
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Pants are for mortals
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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