Having a random hookup so left but love u
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
