Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
