Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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