Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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