Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
