He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
