Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
