I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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