I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize