i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
