Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
