We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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