So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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