have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
