My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
