I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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