I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize