He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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